She fell asleep crying into her pillow, when she woke up in the morning her pillow was stuck to her face.

The years make us all older, but very few wiser.

This quote in particular was a favorite of my grandmother.

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

Need a tissue for your issue....

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Men are like...Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like...Department stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like...Mini Skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like...High Heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like...Parking Spots.
The good ones are taken and the rest are too small.