The best thing you can ever do in your life is to always maintain a healthy sense of humor. Believe me, it really helps you get through tough times.

Writers sometimes don't have the voice
They used a pen instead.

Question. Are you a doctor?
Answer: Quite the opposite, I'm a lawyer.

It's not that I take myself too seriously, it's that others don't take me seriously enough.

I have met a few Pricks in my life
But YOU SIR
are the whole
Bloody Cactus!

If I cannot say it tongue in cheek
I have the wrong audience.

"Never try"

"Trying is the beginning of failure"

Hommer Simpson.

Funny as fook

But always try, if you don't you will never know

You Dear Lady.
Are easier then
the first level
Of Mario

When I heard that kings and queens were allowed to keep lovers I stopped addressing my wife "my queen".

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't sit too well.