Hey! I am not ugly! I'm just not that pretty.

Satan called... Said something about wanting his heater back.

You might call me short
you might call me fat

but just know i aint just that!!!!

If life hands u lemons.... stick them down your bra to make ur boobs bigger

U know uve got pms when not only ur friends tell u that,but some stranger says "i think this lady needs some chocolate and midol"

that actually happened 2 one of my friends.lol

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

When you're feeling down and bummed out.. eat a pop-tart!

I saw you today and couldnt help but laugh

If its dark down the hole light a match

You know America's reached its limits when we start bombin countrys we cant even pronounce.