"pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool wiff your pants on the ground."

-Larry Platt from american idol audition.

"A officer without a gun!
is like
A freak without a di ck!"

Friend said this during a scary movie.

I Couldn't Fix Your Breaks, So I Made Your Horn Louder.

Him: whos rick?
me: my neighbor
him: f^c^ you neighbor
me: nahh iam good hes like 50.
him: eww thats gross

lmao.

Apple Sauce, 8!tch

Wholy coww. i really dont understand this stupid stuff. only stupid ppl can understand stupid stuff. so that means iam smart and u two are stupidd.

lmao haha
lovee it

- I've got more gags than a dominatrix -

They can't kill my character because i'm not a actor

Next time a person gives you the "when pigs fly" line
Just remind them of swine flu (flew)

Oh look, a falling star!!
Quick, make a wish and blow it out!