Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Every time
Wife replies," No, It means: With Idiot For Ever !!!"

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

I like to learn about the unkown... it makes me happy- theres nothing to know. Im lazy...

Sometimes I get real depressed...Then I remember I have big boobs and it makes it all better.

"I'm so gay, my hair won't even stay straight."

For Christmas the Mexicans run to the boarder and decorate the barbed wire

How is Santa supposed to reach the children who live in apartments?
They have to buzz his ass in
( Beep Beep, Santa Clause)

Never fear! Disasterpiece is here!
Though I'm beginning to think that's the reason you have fear in the first place...

Watch it pal... Or I'm gonna punch you in the feet..

Oh yeah? I am gonna kick your nipples off!