When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

:D Not sure where this came from, but I didnt make this up.

" You are like a pretzel......dry and twisted!" LOL!

***I came up with it in math class!

Son, someday you will make a girl very happy for a short period of time. Then she'll leave you and be with new men who are ten times better than you could ever hope to be. These men are called musicians.

How do you nail jello to a tree????

It's all gravy in the navy, Good in the hood, where the elves build shelves.

by; my boyfriend De'Angelo

"Sweet like a Georgia Peach but RARE like a Blue Pear!"

In the words of Jen "It's not like I FREKIN TOUCH MEHSELF!!!"

If your the shit when people you dont know hate you...
Then i must be the biggest piece of shit in the world.

Id rather be hated for someone i am then loved for someone im not
-kurt cobain

i know this isnt my quote but its one of my favorites

If your friend is truly a friend you shouldnt have to lie they will do it for you