I cant hear with out my glasses!

**May not be that funnie but it actually happened to me**

Me n me gals were sent frm heaven i back em up 24/7

I would stop eating chocolate.. but I'm not a quitter!

People are like Jelly Bellys, Some are good but most suck.

"I can finger it but I can't blow it."
*my friend rusty said this talking about playing an instrument*

Ooooh! You better go scrape that crust off yo back cuz you just got BURNED!! -props to mah boi Joel!

I beat myself with a hammer because it feels so good when i stop

IF I HAD A DIME FOR EVERYTYME SOME ONE SAYS GIT-ER-DONE I'D BE RICH

"your boyfriend thinks i am cute".

Boys fall at my feet...I trip them!