I love you so much, i cant believe i nearly lost you. lets never have sex again lol

Confucious Say: Man Who Stand On Tiolet Get High On Pot

On My BUMPER STICKER:

Buckle up...that way, its harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car

SMILE, it makes your butt tingle

Hypnotized monkey...swirling soccer ball. Monkey trys to grab ball...takes great fall!

Spongebob: We're gonna party til we're purple!
Patrick: I love being purple!!

Patrick: Hey where'd everybody go....do you see my butt?

Shut up voices, or I'm gonna poke you with a Q-Tip again!

The Incredibles

" WHHY do you need to know?"

"Women, men like to make you happy because when you're happy, YOU LET US TOUCH YOU."

-Adam Ferrera

"A true friend is not the one paying your bail, but the one sitting next to you saying, 'damn that shit was fun!'"