If I called the wrong number why did you answer?!?!

There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray that the light at the end of your tunnel isn't a train!

Last night I looked up at the stars and wondered "Where in the heck is my ceiling?"

"No officer there is no blood in my alcohol system!"

If everyone in the world were super, then no one would be.

--The Incredibles

Think about it

IF my parents were so smart they'd no why i get f's

"Has the thought of firing a flare at a gas station ever crossed your mind?"

Saw this on a bumper sticker:

I brake for scholars, priests, and no apparent reason

If you're gonna ask if you can ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes

Why dont vending machines give change!!!!!!!!!