A guy phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

An apple a day,
keeps the doctor away.
but if doctor is handsome,
keep the apple away.

Honestly, i couldnt real care less if you cover yourself in peanut butter and have a fifteeen hooker gang bang!

lol adam- saw

Im Fine , im Cool
im Sexy and i RULE .
by me :)

Can I put you're pop can in my pop can dispenser? haha good times.

Somebody gunna get layed the f**k out

Imagine me thowing biscuits at you... constantly.

- How are you?
- I don't know, let me ponder that for a while and I'll get back to you in a couple of days.

What's the difference between a drunk and a pothead?
A drunk drives through a stop sign.
A pothead waits for it to turn green.

"9 out of 10 Americans believe that out of the 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9"

-Said by Colin Mochrie during a game of Weird Newscasters.