Hi, Welcome to The Six o' clock news I'm Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuff. -Brad Sherwood.

~ Isn't mine, but I just had to post it.~

Friendship is like pee in your pants...everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth

LIsten, kids, NEVER, i repeat NEVER try to tie up ur shoelace in a revolving door!

By Rose!

I may rock...
but im not made of stone

Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow.
-- Chris Rock

Why isnt there perfect guys
cuz god ran out of supplies

~It takes someone really smart to be good at acting dumb~

Why do you DRIVE on a PARKway and PARK on a DRIVEway

Last night i was looking up at the stars, and then i thought "where the hel is my roof?"

Lifes a *****, then you die. so **** the world, lets get HIGH!