When life hands you a lemon, serve it up with a shot of tequila.

*I'll give you a nickel if you suck my pickle, a dime if you make it feel fine, and a dolla if you make me holla.*

~*~my boyfriend wrote this~*~

Silence is golden, but duct tape is shiny!

Eddie?
Mom! We're on High Alert here! I almost killed you right now!
Nevermind!
~Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Outside a dog book is mans best friend
inside a dog its to dark 2 read

Men are just little boys in nice suits.

Its Better to be pissed off
then pissed on

The best helpin hand u will ever receive is the one at ur own arm

!~!~!~!~!''Be sexy be wild be you''!~!~!

LIQUOR IN THE FRONT.... POKER IN THE REAR....