Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year

I have a bad case of bulimia...
I just always forgot to throw up

not mine but I love it

Life may be bitter but u can always sweeten it up with some choclate mmm... choclate

Too often we lost sight of life's
simple pleasures.Remember when someone
annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face
to frown BUT... its only take 2 musclesto extend
you arm and Bi#@$-SLAP that motherf#?@$ upside the head

Sunday school
Teacher:Who is our Savior?
(girl pokes a boy with a pen)
Boy: OH! Jesus Christ!
Teacher:Good.What did Eve say after her 21st child?
(girl pokes again)
Boy:(to the girl)If u stick that in me one more time, i'll break it in half!

My hobbies are more like obsessions.

He has a real bad case of p.p.m.m.m.s.s
ask wht thisis.
pissy
pants
maddy
maker
madder
stupid
syndrum

(Me and my bestie were bored:))

He's climbin' in your windows. He's snatchin' your people up, tryin' to rape 'em. So ya'll need to hide ya kids, hide ya wife and hide ya husband 'cause they rapin' everybody out here.

I want your bod. Lol, JK. You look like a train wreck.

"'Sup? My name's Doug. That's God spelled backwards with a little bit of U in it."