My mom always says,
"If they jumped of a bridge,would u do it too?".
I always reply, "pssh no, I`d just be the one who came up with the idea."

That's not a big problem. A big problem is
like, well, if your butt fell off

No matter where you go, zort is always troz backwards.

Time is gold... all the time.

zZZZ

Have you ever had plastic surgery? If you did I'd sue that doctor.

"pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool wiff your pants on the ground."

-Larry Platt from american idol audition.

"A officer without a gun!
is like
A freak without a di ck!"

Friend said this during a scary movie.

I Couldn't Fix Your Breaks, So I Made Your Horn Louder.

Him: whos rick?
me: my neighbor
him: f^c^ you neighbor
me: nahh iam good hes like 50.
him: eww thats gross

lmao.

Apple Sauce, 8!tch