I saw cards that said "get well soon"
.. F**K that! Get well now

demitri martin

Few women admit their age
few men act theirs

I'm gonna smoke you like fried chicken!

He said: I don't know why
You wear a bra, you got
Nothing to put it in.

She Said: You wear pants
Don't you?! =]

God Said: "Let there be light."
Chuck Norris said: "Say Please."

Your just jealous because my dinosaur is named
Alfred

Shut your mouth when your talking to me!

Lame sauce!!!!!!!!!

Bomb sauce!!!!!!!!!

If you are in the way be the way.