Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control

Wrangler butts drive me nuts!!

You blow up another mailbox, the car is gone.
- Dad, to son

The gnomes sell my used sandals on the black market.
-Davey

If somebody random comes up and says, "I'm gonna steal their bras." Just ignore them.

people in love is like people who r drunk while half of the world is drunk the other half is laughin at them for being in love

I will PING a pound of Poppies TILL im dead

Dont Call Me A Cowgirl Till You See Me Ride!

(name)why dont you go slip your self into something more comfortable...like...a......COMA!!

Boys are like roses
Watch out for the PRICKS!