Don't drink and park|! accidents cause kids!

If somebody random comes up and says, "I'm gonna steal their bras." Just ignore them.

people in love is like people who r drunk while half of the world is drunk the other half is laughin at them for being in love

I will PING a pound of Poppies TILL im dead

Dont Call Me A Cowgirl Till You See Me Ride!

(name)why dont you go slip your self into something more comfortable...like...a......COMA!!

Boys are like roses
Watch out for the PRICKS!

I have a joke: How do you confuse a really very stupid person? And the answer is (drum roll): Put him in a round room and tell him (or her) to sit in the corner!

Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control

Whatever woman do they must do twice as well as men 2 b thought half as good.....luckily this is not difficult!