You're just jealous because i act retarded in public and people still love me

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest

I wear compliments like I wear spandex...........awkwardly!

~A quote from my cousin...hilarious! :)
~Midnight Sun

I may be fat but i can lose weight...ul always be ugly!!

A whales peinis is the size of a lunch room table...just thought some of yall would like to know!

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a circle room and tell her to find a corner and sit in it.

How does the blonde confuse you?

She shows you the corner she sat in.

This is bob
bob likes you
bob likes sharp things
i suggest you run from bob

Blondes may do it better
But brunettes don't have trouble remembering it the next day. =P

Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

HOWEVER

the roses are wilting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl is empty
and so is your head

Pretty girls turn heads,
but me and my friends break necks!~