Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest

I may be fat but i can lose weight...ul always be ugly!!

A whales peinis is the size of a lunch room table...just thought some of yall would like to know!

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a circle room and tell her to find a corner and sit in it.

How does the blonde confuse you?

She shows you the corner she sat in.

Oh look, a falling star!!
Quick, make a wish and blow it out!

This is bob
bob likes you
bob likes sharp things
i suggest you run from bob

Blondes may do it better
But brunettes don't have trouble remembering it the next day. =P

Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

HOWEVER

the roses are wilting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl is empty
and so is your head

Officeer i swear to drunk im not god

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.