If looks could really kill-my profession would be staring

Don't talk to me. Don't touch me. Don't look at me, don't even come near me. If you do, you'll know what it's like to be pushed in front of a moving car.

Dont fart in the bath tub, the person cleaning you will hear it

~~last night i had a nightmare that i was a blonde, but thankfully it it was only a dream~~

I sofa king we todd ed

if you dont get it read faster

( i so f**ing retarded )

Why does the easter bunny hide his easter eggs?

Because he doesn't want people to know he did it with a chicken!

Behind every women... there is a man checking out her ass.

Dnt Drink N Drive, Smoke Weed N Fly!!!

Girls have magical powers
We can get wet without water
Bleed with out injury
Make bonless things get hard
and make guys eat with out cooking

X Ûµ X

Sticks and stones may break my bones but whipes and chains excite me, so tie me up and throw me down and show me that you love me.

~when my sister told me that one i just couldnt resist putting it on here for other people to read~