Want to see a magic trick? POOF!!!! You're single!
Want to hear a joke? Our fake ass relationship!
Want to see the rain fall? Look at every tear I've ever shedded for you.

Back in the beginning of things..
Adam: Eve do u love me?
Eve: only bcos God asked me to.
Adam: Do u wana spend ua life with me.
Eve: With me ua life is doomed.

DEAR MAKERS OF CHERRY MEDICINE,

HAVE YOU EVER TASTED A FCUKING CHERRY?

You ever meet someone and your souls connect?
Yeah, me niether.

All i know to say is get a life for your a sucka and not a pucka

Advertising for dates bring postersize smiles, in real life smiles are modest.

Love is not for me and im not for it so i guess that's y i ididn't show up on our wedding day! :)(:

Junk food and men are one in the same.
At first they're great and you can't get enough, but then they leave you with extra baggage.

; You text him, & he doesn't text back.
He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.

"why date a jerk who'll barely look at you, when there are dorks who'll love you."