Back in the beginning of things..
Adam: Eve do u love me?
Eve: only bcos God asked me to.
Adam: Do u wana spend ua life with me.
Eve: With me ua life is doomed.

DEAR MAKERS OF CHERRY MEDICINE,

HAVE YOU EVER TASTED A FCUKING CHERRY?

You ever meet someone and your souls connect?
Yeah, me niether.

All i know to say is get a life for your a sucka and not a pucka

Advertising for dates bring postersize smiles, in real life smiles are modest.

Love is not for me and im not for it so i guess that's y i ididn't show up on our wedding day! :)(:

Junk food and men are one in the same.
At first they're great and you can't get enough, but then they leave you with extra baggage.

; You text him, & he doesn't text back.
He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.

"why date a jerk who'll barely look at you, when there are dorks who'll love you."

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.