Oral sex is no longer called 69, it is now known as 96 due to the changing economy. The price of eating out has gone up!!

Noly opelep atht anc ucfk ylrael gdoo cna erad wtah thsi gesmeas sya...

Love at first sight or love the backside

I failed to see how I was weird when he was the one who wore bright orange all the time and had a sick obsession with ramen.

So he's a vampire... And vampires are real.... He isn't sparkling is he?

I want whatever you're on... If you're getting turned on by a 'sparkly', pale, scrawny man...

"say hello to my little friend."

"I'd rather not..."

Love goin to the pool [NEW LIFE GUARD] :9 i wanted to pretend that i was drownin but dad would've saved me

Friend: omg im gona w8 for 30 minutes on the bus stop.....me: ok here is the plan see how many people hit on you ... take that number and divide 30 over that number.... you'll get the number pounds you need to lose lmaoo ... Friend: what a bitccch !!

Just like to share this little funny quote I saw :)

"Look at the keyboard ... U and I are together, look underneath it says JK."

They say honesty is the best way to go. But how do you tell someone that you were dreaming about them? You don't, you lie and say it was a nightmare.