If I had one arm and I was eating ice cream I'd throw it away so I can could your hand.

*Written by: Chandra Jones*

So I must admit. . .
I was kinda crazy after u broke my heart in millions of pieces. . .
But at least I aint as crazy as that skank u left me 4. . .

If your girlfriend is horny at breakfast, feed her grits!!!!

Morse code turns me on, and off, and on, and off, and ON!

Feelings, you're so full of feelings. You're wearing them like earrings, all over your face.

Don't worry about me, i'm a trooper. And you're not even the kind that shakes me. So don't give yourself that much credit.

I'm no Edward Cullen, he's just your fantasy i'm your dream come true. lol love you babe!

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!