A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married. Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?

What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful..
Ok,hate me because I'm beautiful...

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

My friend: So Batman turned into Batman because he was bit by a bat right???
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA your unbelievable ya lets go with that..

Get on your knees,
close your eyes,
open your mouth,
there'll be a surprise!

--Mike from my school**
(one of my friends)