My ex just called me and wants to meet up she said , "We should hang out to and just go crazy " Me - " I can't , and besides you already have a headstart " ... She hung up on me

*i kip on telling my frendz about u.. how u tok, how u laf, how uv touched my life.. then dey asked .."san b makakahanap ng isang 2lad nya?" i answrd: "mandaluyong loob, unang ward sa kanan!" hahaha!*

At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Oreo Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?

Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl's whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.

Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd

As a kid if a boy liked a girl he'd poke her, call her dirty names & pull hair until she cried. Odd, as an adult girls beg guys to do that.

If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh marry them.

Never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life.

Unless you're looking to seriously emotionally damage someone, don't ask me for relationship advice or how to dance.

Fcuk you alarm clock, I have dreams!