You're hot!!

** Please Not That This May Not apply to you

There are four animals after sex...can you guess what they are?

2 tired A-S-S-E-S
1 wet pussy
and
1 dead COCK

I have many friends! They just dont know that their my friends :D

My friends are all so protective of me [about sex], it's like one big condom.

Life is short and love is always over in the morning

I hate you like a fat kid hates sports

When you tell your wife she has a nice ass, he's really looking at someone else's!!!

When your boyfriend says you look like thomas off of "The Ringer" he really means it.....

What would u do if i got shot

would u run to me with some pot

to make the pain go away?

or would u run the other way

because it turns out u were gay

Women are stupider than men because we date them