Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's
Secret when I can hold your ( . ) ( . ) all day for free.

You know that awkward moment after a long long years of moving on, then you accidentally bumped with the girl who used to be your world, together with her boyfriend. oh oww!

You make me want to write bad poetry.

I wish you'd appear in my bed as often as you appear in my News Feed.

I'm becoming quickly convinced that I accidentally joined a tween poetry site.kids...go to bed and sleep it off

I'm looking forward to your lesbian wedding and my multiple chances of catching a bouquet.

"You said you love her, She says she loves him, Then he says he loves me, but then I love him. What a trouble-some love square"

Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.

Never assume that someone likes you by their sweetness, sometimes you are just an option when they are bored.

Consider the nagging suspicion the wife of a hypnotist must feel.