Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

You know what you never used to see?...woman happy to be dressed like street walkers :)

What if a priest ,in the middle of performing mass,suddenly stopped..raised his arms over his head..and yelled "this is ridiculous"?

Sometimes i wish i were a nicer person but then i laugh and continue my day

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I am just getting more awesome.

Screw soccer.... if I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd just take my friends to the bar.

Just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter.

Expecting a song in about an hour.

When Harry Styles and Taylor Swift break up shell write a song called, 'I Went In The Wrong Direction.'

Girls are like Internet Domain names; the ones I like are already taken.

I will ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existence.