I didn't mean to giggle
But when I saw it, .... hahha it was TINY!!

(friend hangs up phone)
Friend: ah wat an ass holeee.
Me: Marine ex?
Friend: No my dad.
Me: oh...

[you had to be there to laugh about it. it was hilarious]

To get over someone you have to get under someone.

I NEED YOU LIKE A SUPERHERO NEEDS HIS SIDEKICK !

(GINGERBREAD MAN) The perfect man: cute,quite,& sweet but If he goes stale you can always bite his head off

BoYz ArE lIkE tOiLeTs
ThEy ArE eItHeR oCcUpIeD
oR fUlL oF cRaP

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ;]

To air is to be human a but to forgive is devine

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

Go ahead, kiss her. I hope she bites your lip and you choke on the blood.