Her belt was hard-pressed to keep up her pants

Boy: want to go on a date?
girl: sure whatt do u want to do?
boy: go to the movies?
girl:what do u wana see?
boy:........you

:)

If you find a friend better or sweeter than me, go ahead, i wont stop you but when that person leaves you, look behind, i'll be there, ready to kick you and say, "better than me,huh??"

Admit it. You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook picture or status.

Hey girl, are you calculus? Because you're hard to understand and seem pretty useless in the greater scope of my life goals.

Those Who Dare Not Risk The Thorn, Should Never Crave The Rose

My last loving relationship involved a spare electrical outlet at an airport departure gate.

You had me at 0 mutual friends.

Whenever I take a girl out on a first date I always shake her hand with my left hand because I don't want her to meet her competition just yet.

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume & a boy puts on shaving cologne & they go out & smell each other."
Kari - age 5
...haha just thought that was kinda cute