After friend tells the story of himself betting all on red on Roulette and losing:

"Ohhh dude that sucks.. you should have picked black!"

I once heard this at a mock wedding:

'Do you vow to treat her as a passenger plane? To climb in and out of her five times a day and take her to the heavens and back?'

You have to kiss alot of frogs before you REALLY know how to kiss!
~ME, My Nan, and my lil' sis

Frienship:
God's way of apologizing for family.

I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, and put on my prayers. Turned off the bed, and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me good night

A wife just wants one thing, 'trust'. Ha! Myth busted, she wants your rich d*k too.

Guy 1: I keep getting a negative answer for number ten. what does that mean?
guy 2: it means ur gay
guy 1: yay real funny. I'll just ask the professor.
professor: watcha doin' tonight?

Safe sex is great sex.. Better wear a latex.. cuz you dont want the late text.. The "i think im late" text

Don't let the pretty face fool you...
I ROLL LIKA BOSS

A penny for your thoughts
a nickle for a kiss
a dime if you tell me that you love me ....
imagine what i'd do for a quater