I would love to hate you, but war seems more apporate

A man looks for beauty as his main demand which, by the time, may no longer become valuable, then the man will be enticed by the things beyond

Yes you may have my heart under your bed in a shoebox, but I have your favorite hat :P

When guys get jealous, it's actually kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War III is about to start.

I always have friends to turn to when guys act dumb. Their names are Ben and Jerry.

Marriage is a three ring circus. An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring

You know what a flagella is?

Its a cell penis.

(:

I don't blame you for hiding your Facebook page...if I had told as many lies and was as ugly as you, I would hide mine too...

Are you free tomorrow? No, I'm fcuking expensive.

Isn't it a pitty that the pretty kitty actually turned out to be quite shitty