"You look familar... Don't you drink coffee with my Grandma?"

Love is like heaven.......but can hurt like hell

FRIENDS ARE LIKE CONDEMS BECAUSE THEY PROTECT YOU WHEN THINGS GET HARD!!

"Im sorry, ... am I giving you mixed signals??

It means that I don't want you, I am just too hesitant to tell you"

Sex is like a game of bridge, if you havent got a good partner... then you need a damn good hand

Don't ride the brown eyed pony!!

*if you dont' get this ur a idiot but it's sayin don't be gay! lol*

-do you believe in love at first sight or do you need me to pass by again?

Be a smart girl,
Live at your ease,
Get a rich husband,
and do as you please!

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM LEEDS
WHO SWALLOWED A PACKET OF SEEDS
TUFFS OF GRASS
GREW OUT OF HIS AR*E
SO HE TURNED IN TO A PACKEET OF WEEDS

"YoU cAnT pLaY a PlAyEr, CuZ wHeN yOu ThInk YoU pLaYeD, gUeSs WhAt, YoU'vE aLrEaDy BeEn PlAyEd!"