I was like "whoa!" without the 'w' and the 'a'!

I rather spend quality time with my pillow than spend quality time with you!

See ppl in love in the hallways holdin hands, my friends are like awww. I'm like get a f@#$% room.

Hi i am here i just dnt care so pls leave yr msg afta da tone n i'll delete it later beeeep

"My wife has 52 personaities, and 51 of them hate my guts"

Tom Arnold on wife Rosanne

WORST PICK UP LINE

Nice legs what time are they open

Guns are no more responsible for killing people than the spoon is responsible for making Rosie O'Donnell fat.

mean but funny-lyssa

Please don't tell my Mama that I work on an oil rig... She thinks I'm a piano player in a wh*r*house.

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much did you drink?

JESUS LOVES YOU...everybody else thinks you're an @$*hole.