It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"
"Its you, baby." says bf
"Oh [s[h[i[t] the cookies are burning!!"
bf: -.-

Guys need to be lied to as much or more as they lie to us
-I just thought of this while i was writing to my frined (it's true)

There is such a thing as a good guy, their just all dead. ;)

Not mine, but it's kind of funny

A kid tells his grandpa "sorry grandpa but ur friend died the other day." n the gradpa says "well i sure hope he did becuz they buried him!"

A person living in alaska might actually be happy if you told them to [b[u[r[n[ in h]e]l]l] =] atleast its warm there.......

With my eyes
I conquered your heart
With my hands
I controllerd your body
With my foot
I shall KICK YOUR A**

Ex boyfriends are like frisbees
you throw them but they always come back

I blame 2 groups of people
Those who got married before me because they didn't advice me
And those who got married after me
because they didn't ask for my advice

Not Mine ....heard it in a movie

I'm not the girl I once used to be,
I'm still the sk8r punk, but now I got class
But hey don't try f|u|c|k|i|n|g with me,
B|i|t|c|h I can still kick your a|s|s