HE bROkE MY hEaRT..... SO i bROkE hiS JaW... :)

I'm bothering you? Well no what your face is bothering me you don't see me complaining!!!

You know I got Fatter When I knew You still love me..

Treat your friends like your family, and treat your enemies like your significant others family

BOY-can i have your number?
GIRL-yea
BOY-ok...well wat is it??
GIRL-o it in the phone book
BOY-yea but i dont no your name
GIRL-o dont worry its there too!

wow i just thought that was so funny!

"Dont think of yourself as an ugly human... just a beautiful monkey!!"
ha ha i call my boufriend monkey...lol

Girls can fake orgasms but Guys can fake whole F*!$ing relationships

"Don't worry, Donald. Those lions would never attack us this close to home.....Donald?"

Mastery is achieved when "telling time" becomes "telling time what to do"

Im yours untill someone cuter comes along