I wish your name was homework.
Because then you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk right now.

Excuse me, but could you please tell your pants that its rude to point?

How do you know Santa's a man? Cuz he shows up late, eats your cookie, empties his sac, cu m s only once, calls you a h oe, and leaves while you're asleep.

When i Started Flirtin With The Hustle ; Failure Became My Ex.
Now Im Engaged To The Game
And Married To Success !

When I yawn it's not because I'm tired of you I'm exhausted from my heart beating to fast.

*written by: Chandra Jones*

Define player: my exboyfriend

A woman once said to me that a man is like a deck of playing cards: you need a heart to love 'em, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash is
f u c k i n g head in, and a spade to bury the bastard

"Love's an excuse to put up with shit that you shouldn't"

Roses are red, violets are blue, i have 5 fingers, &the middle one's for you :]

Instructions on How to find a Perfect Man:
1. put on nice clothes
2. do hair and make-up
3. cook
4. give up. none of them are perfect...