Lady 1: did u miss your husband after he was murdered?

lady 2: well it was a matter of life after death....he died and i had a life.

Guy: "You hit me in the mouth with the remote."
Girl: "You broke my heart twice."
Guy: "Ok. We're even."

You dumped me but you're the one who has to get over it. How sad.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Is it a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

You want a perfect girl, go buy a barbie doll

**Guys are like port-o-potties. The good ones are taken and the bad ones are full of crap.**

-didn't make up-

Why do girls talk so much and guys think so much? cause girls have 4 lips and guys have 2 heads

WEST TO THE WATER
EAST TO THE LAND
DEATH TO THE B*#TCH
THAT TOUCHES MY MAN!!!!!!

Your skinny jeans.$25...His Levis..$32..Your hello kitty screen tee.on sale $5.99..His hanes Tee...$7..you victoria secret bra and panty set.$32.his fruit of the loom boxers.$10, seeing them spread all over the floor next to the bed.Pricless!