Break my heart?
I`LL BREAK YOUR PENiS =]

Sex is like a joke....some people get it and some people dont.

Break my heart and it's seven years of bad luck but rub me each day and I'm good luck!!!!
(just made that up one day)

After volumes of research has been sifted through, studied and scrutinized by the best pschologists, psychiatrists and social scientists it is unanimously agreed upon that the #1 cause of divorce is......................MARRiAGE!

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil

Remember my name? Remember my face? cuz dere aint no1 else who can take my place!

There are 4 types of animals a woman wants in their home.
a LION in the bed
a MINK in the closet
a MUSTANG in the garage
and a JACKASS to pay 4 it all

I was once told to grab a bull by his horns. I simply shook my head and replied "You first."

Friends are like good bras: supportive, hard to find, and close to the heart.

Hacking cough, runny nose, burning fever, freezing toes, sore throat, throbbing head...I'm much to sick to get out of bed!