You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be misquoted and used against you.

Have you ever noticed how the majority of people with great hair are idiots?

Examples: Albert Einstien = Genious
His hair = Yikes

Brad Pitt = Not so bright
His hair = Awsome

Coinicidence... I think not!

When the officer says "gee your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" you probably shouldn't respond with " gee officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

I'm no longer a threat to society, just ask my psychiatrist.

How boring this life would be, if we always did what we’re “supposed” to

My parents are shopaholics. They can NOT stop....buying alcohol!

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself.

~*Diamonds ARE NOT a girls Best Friend...MIDOL is!!*~

~If GuYs HaD tHeIr PeRiOd ThEy WoUlD bRaGiNg AbOuT tHe SIzE oF tHeIr PaD!!!

Would somebody please give Bush a blowjob so we can impeach him?