"I was not interested in religion intil I saw a car with a jesus & god bumper sticker!!!
That totally convinced me that I should belive in religion, Thank you bumper stickers!!"

I'd like to see the world from your point of view but sadly my head doesnt fit that far up my Backside...

Be thankful that the world sucks... otherwise we would all fall off

I'm not growing up I'm just growing old

East side love is livin on the west end

My drunk friends fat and skinny argument

sam: fatty fatty 2 by 4 cant fit threw the bathroom door so she pisses on the floor

nikki: skinny skinny b*tc^es with ur fast metabolisms

(it was such a ridiculous comeback that i had to share it)

"It's free so we might as well get our money's worth!"
(lol I said this at the nail salon a few weeks ago)

I just got a call from my boss. He said "your sick days are all used up..." so im calling in dead

Where Else Can You Have This Much Fun
With Your Clothes On

If Looks Could Kill
You would Of Been Dead A long Time Ago