I'd like to see the world from your point of view but sadly my head doesnt fit that far up my Backside...

Be thankful that the world sucks... otherwise we would all fall off

I'm not growing up I'm just growing old

If you cant laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you!

A desturbing new study shows that studies are desturbing....- Elen Degneres

I would like to help you out,
which way did you come in?

If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room

Men are six times more likely to get struck by lightning than women..

hahaha.. thats hilarious.

Dance to the music can you stay with me girl ha you cant dance as fast as me ohh girl i'm getting to you

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"

-Dean Martin-