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Only in America...do we sell hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8. |
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A celebrity is a person who spend all thier life to become well known and then spends the rest of thier life trying not to be recognized in public |
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"So this guy walks up to me and says 'What's punk?' So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk' So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'Thats punk?' And I say 'No, thats trendy'" |
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Take it as a compliment when someone calls you "weird." Being considered "normal" nowadays isn't exactly something you should look forward to. |
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Women should not be given nametags. I walked into Walmart once and began to talk to a lady about finding something and looked at her tag to address her when she thought i was looking and slapped me. |
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Can you slam a revolving door? |
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No officer, there's no blood in my alcohol system |
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I'm an Athiest... But not a hardcore one, thank God. |
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. |
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You know you're a mexican when you share the same social security number with all of your amigos |