There are three kinds of people: those that can count, and those that can't (:

No officer, there's no blood in my alcohol system

Only dumb and idiotic people like me can make a smart and boring person like you laugh

Guys are like rollarcoasters... they're either a great time or they make you sick!!

If rumors were drugs, then the world would be high.

If handicapped bathrooms are for people who can't walk,
then why do they put them at the end of the bathroom?

DON'T HIT KIDS!!! no really they have guns now

Guns don't kill people, vice presidents do

Some people call them marbles,
And some call them screws,
It really dont matter,
Cuz were all missing a few.

If a**h0les could fly, this place would be an airport.