Headed for a Breakdown

by Bugg   Jun 9, 2008


I don't think I can make it through the night
Everything is wrong, nothing seems right
I long to feel your touch, your embrace
The only thing I feel is tears running down my face

It's not too late to come back, why not now?
You said that you loved me, but didn't know how.
I'm just a monster that you see in dreams
You're the good man, I'm the one who screams.

Tearing up my arms with scratches from my nails
Flipping the happy coin, it always lands on tails.
I'm not content in this lifetime, I hate it more each day
As I wipe away my tears, I know why it's this way.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    I thought the flow was good. I didn't have any awkward pauses. This subject has been written about so many times, but I can tell you were venting, so it was good to get it off your chest. I think you should check your punctuation though. I noticed you lefted out some periods and stuff.

    If you wanted to make it a better poem, I would suggest adding more colorful words, maybe use some metaphores or similes. Engage the reader, make them feel like they're a part of what's happening.

    Overall, it was a nice poem.

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 15 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    This was an amazing poem that made me cry. Sometime life is just so unfair.
    You did a great job.

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This rhyme reflects a break in the rhythm of your heart dew to a longing yet, your words flow perfectly well
    Great poem!

  • 15 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    It wasnt bad but it wasnt absolutely terrific [[sorry xP]]

    the meaning was wonderful, topic was awesome but it could have flowed a little bit better. anyhow good job! =)

  • 15 years ago

    by twistedlover

    A very well writen poem, i can tell it is heartfelt and whoever doesnt understand your love for them now is a fool who just missed out, please go comment my poem clock hits 12

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