My chained existence

by Goth marionette   Jul 29, 2008


Darkness falls.
And I'm surrounded by gloomy walls,
In somewhere so cold,
Where the wind is bold.

Freezing alone, losing control,
And giving up on my soul.
I am falling in my place,
Though I can't vent my dry, faded face

I feel empty inside,
Yet there is no one by my side.
I can't think nor feel anymore,
When silence and blackness roar.

I'm calling out to be heard,
But I know that no one would have cared
Or it seems that my voice isn't that loud,
And will never be noticed by the crowd.

Here I am, taking a look around
I still have faith to be found.
Oh my God, I am buried alive,
I'm left in a coffin, and no way out to survive

My life is over, here.
I stopped breathing and the end is too near.
I bow to my chained existence,
As I'll be gone in seconds to be the death's mistress.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by NoUr

    Seems that ur an amazing poet..this poem was gr8 but thats not new 4 u..plz keep writng..ur awsome..

  • 17 years ago

    by Yeka

    Love it truly I do this poem that you wrote is truly true. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Yeka

    Love it truly I do this poem that you wrote is truly true. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    I really liked this. The rhymes were really good, and just the word choice in general.

    "I'm calling out to be heard,
    But I know that no one would have cared
    Or it seems that my voice isn't that loud !!
    And will never be noticed by the crowd."

    ^^ Personally, I do not think you should have exclamation marks at the end of the third line.

    "Here I am, taking a look around
    I still have faith to be found.
    Oh my God!! I am buried alive,
    I'm left in a coffin, and no way out to survive"

    ^^ Same in this stanza. I think you should remove the exclamation marks and add a comma or something.

    One more thing; I think you should keep up with your puncuation. You ended some with a period, others have nothing. It'll look better with them at all of the ends.

    Five out of five.

    ``Briana

  • 17 years ago

    by Extinct Angel

    I enjoyed this poem alot yet it seems you were stretching yourself thin on trying to always rhyme sometime when you need the right words you cant always rhyme because to get the correct feel sometimes you need to free verse your poems a little but hey just my opinion

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