The Birthday Massacre

by AlaSkA   Mar 15, 2009


The Birthday Massacre.

To keep low synergy:
at Christmas, meet at the isthmus.
A brine labyrinth for you and yours,
because this me was never mine.
Still counting sheep? Oh restless sleep.
A maritime landscape... or-
Portrait number two.
Its so contradictory, yet deliberately put..
im throwing a party in my head.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Penned very well, and really deep as in the context is structured which means it needs a little more concentration in understanding the meaning,
    I did like this and loved the thoughtfulness it left afterwards

    Love
    Tara

  • 14 years ago

    by Blissful

    Reading this for the first time was a very interesting experiance although I didnt grasp the meaning right at the bat. Reading it the second time was even better because I could see the clever tricks you put in there to create such a unique piece. It read so flawlessly with no interruptions in flow although the train of thought was interrupted. Reading poetry whose meaning isnt obvious at a glance is very appealing beause the reader has to do some thinking while reading it to understand whats going on.

    This is the type of poem that stays with the reader after they finish and keepts them pondering...I really did enjoy it. It was different and quite refreshing.

    Well done.
    *5/5*

  • 14 years ago

    by Lauren

    I really like your poem. I think its different but its really good. It's quick and clean and I like that. I think its clever and a little hard to figure out. I think your writing is very good and can't wait to see more from you.

  • 14 years ago

    by SHYSTY23KO

    I love it!
    honestly, i dunno half those words but it makes me curious! but the last sentence wrapped it up nicely for me!
    i love the line:
    'A brine labyrinth for you and yours,'

  • Not a bad poem. i think it can be longer and more organized thoughts. i like the diction you chose. i like the complex thinking this poem gives to the reader. other than that keep it up.

    Ada
    (aBSwaBHiaPL)