The X-Ray

by Hollymariee   Mar 27, 2009

Today I got an x-ray ;
They found you inside my heart .
They told me that without you ,
I'll just simply fall apart .
The part of it that holds you ,
Is much more than I can give .
You may not be the best for me ;
But without you I can't live .


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by kelleyana

    This is so cute. Short and simple, but very well done. I like your writing styles. Keep it up 5/5, kel.

  • 10 years ago

    by Rolo

    I don't feel I can go into as much detail as others have in terms of feedback. Simply because most of it would be unnecessary. It was a very sweet and simple write. I liked it. So sorry it took me so long to read. But I'm glad I did :]


  • 10 years ago

    by Pesamenteiro

    It seems I cant say much more than what has already been said.
    Its an okay poem, but short, and that can go both ways.
    Its a very short and simple poem which is easy to read and doesnt overstimulate my brain like some poems do, you've gotten a lot of expression and emotion in such a short poem but it seems like there should be more to it. Maybe add a stanza or two if you could.

    Like some others have said, its not the most original piece, im sure there are quite a few out there just like this one, again, if you added a stanza or two to this piece you could make it stand out quite a bit more and make it more your own.
    Its got potential so far, Im sorry if i sound to harsh. :\


  • 10 years ago

    by RobinAnn13

    Aww, very cute. Expressive for how short it is. Very unique, I liked it. Flow seemed a little off, although I checked the syllables and they were all the same except for the next to last line.
    I don't know, could just be me. I still really liked it though.

  • 10 years ago

    by forevertobeart

    I feel like I have read this before, or something very similar to this. Possibly in a forwarded text, because I remember sending it to my boyfriend. Anyhow, it's cute. I don't have much else to say, I never was into love poems. Too cheesy for my liking.