This Creature...

by Dreamofolwin   Aug 21, 2009


I just want to fight,
this creature in me.
It makes me want to scream...
It kick's me inside,
there's nowhere to hide.
And tears flow like a stream.

Most times I pretend,
it's like playing a game...
But the thorns pierce my soul so deep.
And the rose's I knew,
are way out of view.
And the evening now starts to descend.

I sit here alone,
a soul with no home.
Just a burden,
will I wither and die?
I want to escape,
before it's too late...
And forever I'll sit here and cry.

*********************************************

*This was written for a club challenge, using words from a list

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    A very dark, deep but truly wonderful written piece, 5/5. Em

  • 14 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Have you read 'the Host' ... your poem depicts the same feeling that the character in the book must have felt... although here the one inside may be you yourself ...

    well penned...and dark indeed

  • 14 years ago

    by ibelievedhim

    I think you did a great job using the words to create such a sad poem that we can all relate to. I especially liked the last line of this piece. Well done, 5/5
    Katie <3

  • 14 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    You have used the words to spin a sadness
    which everyone feels at one point..a touching
    write..

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'But the thorns pierce my soul so deep.'
    ^One of my favorite lines! Loved the way you used 'pierce' well done.

    Great write. I think we all have had what seems like a 'creature' inside of us that we can't fight.. which seems to result in these kind of emotions. You did well with this one--I think almost everyone can relate.

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