3 Hours

I hate the fact
that I saw you
in my sleep.

I don't usually dream,
unless it's weird
complex or deep.

You looked different
a bit taller than you were
unaware of the color
of your face
and your bad hair,
but I knew it was you.

Now sitting in this office
surrounded by dead machines
and pure air,
it's silent within here.

So different from the
day you left me behind
in the busy crowded street.

I was wearing pink and white,
butterflies, roses,
love and delight.

They were 3 hours long..or so..

I took the green cab to go back home.

You left.

I found nothing suitable to wear,
no makeup to hide my
disappointment and despair.

I slept long hours to veil my shock,
I hid in my pillow, I cut my hair.
maybe you disliked black curls
and brown shades..

Wished you luck with the other girl.

But searched for you in other men,
hunted your absence in forbidden love
in dirt and sin - in places similar
to where we've been.

I actually thought I'd find you
there, in dark places like in hell
but you were all happy and doing well...

You chased me and kept an eye,
you watched from distance
how I fail how I lie.

You condemned my love letters
and cursed my deeds.

Didn't you remember?
You gave birth to all these needs.

But now as I saw you in the dream,
I wished you knew
I'm now the girl I was before you.

I still carry the bruises
my pathetic reaction,
my wounds my excuses
the awful many stupid years
I lost.

I carry them all...
but I've found a way
to heal my soul.

I know

They were 3 hours long..or so..

I took the green cab to go back home.

You left, and thank God you did.

By: Rania Moallem